I wish I could stop fussing over my son, but I can’t. Between the shhhing and the how-are-you-feelings and the can-I-get-you-somethings, I am aware that I am fawning over my only child. And it isn’t good for him.
It is a lesson that needs frequent reinforcing. During one of his Cub Scout meetings, Connor was etching leaves with the other children. When it was time to move on to the next activity, Connor was still working on his etchings, so I prompted him to put his crayon down. He did so, but was clearly mortified that his mother had stepped in to correct him. I happened to glance up to see the Den Leader’s wife, who was also a parent educator, shake her head sadly. It wasn’t’ my job to correct my child. It was the Den Leader’s. And it probably wasn’t a big deal anyway if he kept on working. He was enjoying himself.
My husband and I both work hard to not fuss over Connor. We sit on our hands to keep from interfering. Steve, my husband, now goes to Scout meetings because I know I won’t be able to control myself from prompting him.
And yet, I have my moments where I get it. I let Connor figure things out on his own, and his pride at his own achievement gives me the courage to let him do more.
autism, parenting, overprotective
Tags: independence, overprotective, parenting
Remember to take time for yourself and allow yourself mistakes in dealing with your special needs child. No one is perfect and having a special needs child does not come with a manual on how to best help your child. Having a child with special needs is a life long battle that parents will have to deal with from day to day. Recognizing that there is no way to anticipate the unexpected you should just take one day at a time and pray for guidance and understanding.
And remember, you are one heck of a mom!!!!
We reposted the “fussing” blog on the Social Networks of Model Me Kids Social and also Autism Speaks, and have received many comments that we are not alone in trying to find the right balance between neglect and hovering! Check out the responses at:
http://modelmekids.ning.com/forum/topics/does-anyone-else-fuss-over
http://autismspeaksnetwork.ning.com/forum/topics/does-anyone-else-fuss-over
-Mae
I fuss over my son all the time. It’s hard to easy up. He’s 3, and my only child. I don’t ever want him to feel alone.