Comments on: My Son Threw a Shoe in Class Today http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/ Parenting tips for children on the autism spectrum. Is it possible to live with autism without losing your mind, your life savings, or your spouse? Yes! It may be an uphill climb at times, but there are also some surprisingly easy spots. So for those parents who are determined to enjoy life with autism, welcome. Sun, 09 Oct 2011 13:05:48 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: admin http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/comment-page-1/#comment-766 admin Sun, 02 Jan 2011 22:30:12 +0000 /?p=178#comment-766 Dear LAB, Thank you for your kindness in sharing your experiences. Your timing was perfect, and it provided insight into how our son might be feeling. Since the time this blog was first written, my husband and I have begun to understand more and more about how Connor thinks and what triggers these types of episodes -- in other words, we really spend a lot of time trying to figure out what's causing the meltdown, so we are doing much more on the preventative side --but Connor still focuses his anger at an object versus talking about his feelings. We are trying to help hin with this, and any advice would be helpful. - Mae Dear LAB,
Thank you for your kindness in sharing your experiences. Your timing was perfect, and it provided insight into how our son might be feeling. Since the time this blog was first written, my husband and I have begun to understand more and more about how Connor thinks and what triggers these types of episodes — in other words, we really spend a lot of time trying to figure out what’s causing the meltdown, so we are doing much more on the preventative side –but Connor still focuses his anger at an object versus talking about his feelings. We are trying to help hin with this, and any advice would be helpful. – Mae

]]> By: LAB http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/comment-page-1/#comment-765 LAB Sun, 02 Jan 2011 15:37:37 +0000 /?p=178#comment-765 I know this is a really old post, but I had to comment anyway. When your son said he threw his shoe because he was "acting shy," I think he was telling you the absolute truth as he could best express it. My guess is that he was uncomfortable and embarrassed after receiving help with his shoe. This would also explain why he hid under the desk. Many ASD kids (particularly in the Asperger population) do not like to admit that they don't know something, or that they are doing something wrong. It makes them lose confidence in their ability to carry on. This is often why they have meltdowns--some kind of frustration over a thing they can't do or can't master or can't understand makes it clear that there are things they can't do or can't master or can't understand. They are often very reluctant to ask for help, no matter how desperately they need it. Everything is made worse when the child feels somehow "on display" as he is being corrected or helped. In this case, your son was already "on display" working at the chalkboard (very stressful for many kids), and then someone went and pointed out that the shoe was not right. That's a pure recipe for "shyness meltdown," i.e., my self confidence is already so shaky, and I'm trying so hard to do all these things right, and now everybody sees that I'm all wrong and I just want to run away and hide. I feel for your son. This has happened to me many times. I know this is a really old post, but I had to comment anyway.

When your son said he threw his shoe because he was “acting shy,” I think he was telling you the absolute truth as he could best express it. My guess is that he was uncomfortable and embarrassed after receiving help with his shoe. This would also explain why he hid under the desk. Many ASD kids (particularly in the Asperger population) do not like to admit that they don’t know something, or that they are doing something wrong. It makes them lose confidence in their ability to carry on. This is often why they have meltdowns–some kind of frustration over a thing they can’t do or can’t master or can’t understand makes it clear that there are things they can’t do or can’t master or can’t understand. They are often very reluctant to ask for help, no matter how desperately they need it. Everything is made worse when the child feels somehow “on display” as he is being corrected or helped. In this case, your son was already “on display” working at the chalkboard (very stressful for many kids), and then someone went and pointed out that the shoe was not right. That’s a pure recipe for “shyness meltdown,” i.e., my self confidence is already so shaky, and I’m trying so hard to do all these things right, and now everybody sees that I’m all wrong and I just want to run away and hide.

I feel for your son. This has happened to me many times.

]]> By: admin http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/comment-page-1/#comment-155 admin Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:43:55 +0000 /?p=178#comment-155 I would start with the Occupational Therapist on staff at your child's school and/or visit your special school district's parent/resource library. That way, you can have access to a broad-range of information about self-regulation for children on the spectrum, along with someone to talk to who is also familiar with local resources that can help you and your child. - Mae I would start with the Occupational Therapist on staff at your child’s school and/or visit your special school district’s parent/resource library. That way, you can have access to a broad-range of information about self-regulation for children on the spectrum, along with someone to talk to who is also familiar with local resources that can help you and your child. – Mae

]]> By: Tinys Trampoline http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/comment-page-1/#comment-153 Tinys Trampoline Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:22:10 +0000 /?p=178#comment-153 Hi, Do you have anywhere else I can look for information regarding this please? Many thanks Hi,

Do you have anywhere else I can look for information regarding this please?

Many thanks

]]> By: admin http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/comment-page-1/#comment-86 admin Sun, 10 May 2009 23:47:46 +0000 /?p=178#comment-86 Thanks for the great tips, Hollie! Intuitively I realized that Connor gets tired mid-week (I ask him to be my helper when I volunteer in the classroom and then we leave a few minutes early on those days), but I've never put anything formal in place. Thanks to you, I now plan to work out an arrangement with the teacher to pick Connor up when it seems like he's 'had enough.' -Mae Thanks for the great tips, Hollie! Intuitively I realized that Connor gets tired mid-week (I ask him to be my helper when I volunteer in the classroom and then we leave a few minutes early on those days), but I’ve never put anything formal in place. Thanks to you, I now plan to work out an arrangement with the teacher to pick Connor up when it seems like he’s ‘had enough.’
-Mae

]]> By: Hollie http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/comment-page-1/#comment-85 Hollie Sun, 10 May 2009 22:35:59 +0000 /?p=178#comment-85 For us what works for Roo are two things. 1. a safe spot in the classroom ( it is a flexiboard and large floor boards in a corner), ,that Roo can utilize if she feels she is losing it. It is a spot for her to go and get focused. 2. for us if having a rough day I would take her home early, sometimes for her the day was simply too long. For us what works for Roo are two things.

1. a safe spot in the classroom ( it is a flexiboard and large floor boards in a corner), ,that Roo can utilize if she feels she is losing it. It is a spot for her to go and get focused.

2. for us if having a rough day I would take her home early, sometimes for her the day was simply too long.

]]> By: Maddy http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/comment-page-1/#comment-51 Maddy Fri, 01 May 2009 03:32:49 +0000 /?p=178#comment-51 Makes me realise just how lucky we are to have such an amazing team of professionals at out school. Best wishes Makes me realise just how lucky we are to have such an amazing team of professionals at out school.
Best wishes

]]> By: Amazing_Grace http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/04/my-son-threw-a-shoe-in-class-today-self-regulation-in-the-classroo/comment-page-1/#comment-47 Amazing_Grace Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:43:49 +0000 /?p=178#comment-47 Long ago a student was trying to be kind to my son and sharpened his pencil for him. My son went berserk because he just can't stand it when anyone touches him or anything of his. He has slowly gotten better about this, but it is something that really bothers him. Long ago a student was trying to be kind to my son and sharpened his pencil for him. My son went berserk because he just can’t stand it when anyone touches him or anything of his. He has slowly gotten better about this, but it is something that really bothers him.

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