What does my son think about during those times when he’s in his own little world? Is he lonely? Is he sad? Is he processing the events of the day? Or is he memorizing again – maybe pii to the 40th decimal or the names of all the American Presidents by state, by party and by hair color?
I know Connor’s thoughts are a private matter. I also realize what all parenting coaches advise, “Parents shouldn’t try to own their children’s pain; they should let them work it out on their own.” But that doesn’t seem fair since my son is only now getting to a point where he can talk about his feelings.
I just need to know that he’s isn’t unhappy. I used to worry about that day and night – far too much – but I couldn’t help myself. And then I read a book. A wonderful children’s book called In My Mind: Through the Eyes of Autism by Adonya Wong, and all of a sudden, I wasn’t quite as worried anymore. Because Adonya doesn’t know what’s going on in her son’s head, either, but she thinks his thoughts are good, happy and full of wonderful ideas. And I believe her.
In My Mind: The World through the Eyes of Autism by Adonya Wong
“In my mind, I see many colors, bright like a rainbow,
shooting about like comets in a night sky.”
Take a closer look. What do you see?
In My Mind explores the inner world of an autistic child –
the world that no one else can see.
From exciting adventures to silly games and conversations with friends, look closely
and see how a child with autism sees the world; and how the world sees him. www.throughtheeyesofautism.com
I wonder if MONK is happy as well. When we do fun activities or go on vacation I wonder if he had a good time. It is hard to tell if he did because he does not show his feelings. Years later and out of the blue he recalls our “adventures” fondly and all my doubts are totally forgotten.
From Mae: I loved this comment from one of my Twitter friends, mdhttr:
What do autistic kids think? We add the numbers on the vcr. We think and try to understand. We are happy.
I always worried when my children were little what they were thinking and if they were happy. Now I know that my oldest is lonely and would like some friends. We try to help him and suggest clubs to join at school and give him therapy. It does break your heart. But atleast we are there for him and can provide him the support he needs.
Hi Elise:
Thanks for the comment. One self-advocate mentioned that she was able to eventually establish friendships, particularly with highly extroverted people. I guess bubbly personalities are infectious across all personality types! – Mae