My son slept through the night last night…in his own bed. He also slept in his own bed the night before and the night before that and a whole six nights before that. That’s now TEN nights in a row that Connor has slept in his own bed. At eight and a half years old, he is finally sleeping on his own. How did we pull it off? I have no idea.
It isn’t as though we haven’t been trying for the past eight years or so. On the contrary, we’ve attempted just about every sleeping technique with Connor (but please let let me know if I missed anything): letting him cry it out, medication, bed time routines, sleeping beside him, fairy lights, bedside lamps, sleeping on the floor, story time, snack time, sleeping in the hallway, special pillows, a new bed, weighted blankets, special superhero pajamas, sleeping in a tent, threats, tears, sleeping in a chair and bribes. Finally, a kindly social worker told us, “Forget it for now. Let him sleep with one of you. All of you need your sleep, too.”
That was four years ago, and since then, Connor has been sleeping with either my husband or me (usually my husband, because I tend to make rather loud sleepy noises). And so, Steve and I became used to little feet at our backs, in our sides and occasionally in an ear. We have hugged the three inches of mattress left over from our little one’s creeping snuggle-attempts and have shivered in the cold when our special someone has decided to monopolize the blankets.
But we always kept offering, “Connor, would you like to sleep in your own bed this evening?” And ten nights ago, he finally said YES. And he hasn’t changed his mind so far.
One of the greatest parenting mysteries of all times is when to push and when to let a child develop on his own. I wish I knew the answer, but thank goodness Connor has appeared to have figured this one out by himself.
Awesome! Good for you, your husband, and Connor! We still go through phases of our son wanting to sleep with us! I think you’re right about letting certain things develop on their own!
Oh this is great news! You give me hope!
Thanks, ladies! Sometimes I wonder if the secret to helping our children is to give them confidence in themselves. I know it bothered Connor that he was still sleeping with his parents, but when he figured out that he COULD sleep by himself, he was off and running. Hmmm…
-Mae
I think that last paragraph should be printed on every parent and teacher’s forehead!
I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old that always end up in bed with me every night. They share a queen bed and I start them out in there, but have to lay with them until they go to sleep. I have no idea how I’m going to break this habit and I don’t have it in me to fight it now. There have been comments, but as of this point nothing else works. Even then it’s a struggle with my oldest in particular. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one that has kids in bed with me.
Hang in there, Peggy. He’ll get the hang of it. BTW, my son crept in our bed last night…sigh. But he’s making progress by falling asleep on his own. – Mae
I know how happy you are! Em is 5 and has a “little bed” next to our bed on the floor. We managed to get her to go to sleep on her own with the promise of a reward at the end of 5 days. We had to pop our heads in for a few days to reassure her and then she was just fine. But she still needs that ‘little bed.’ We might work on that this summer. She goes to bed in her ‘big bed’ and comes in at night (without waking us!!) and climbs into her ‘little bed’ and goes to sleep. It took us long enough to get things to this point!
‘Way to go Em and family. Sleeping in her little bed by herself, even if it is in your room, shows that Em can put herself back to sleep. We were told that skill was a HUGE step.
- Mae