Archive for the ‘Education’ Topic

Autism and the Search for the Perfect Valentine

Friday, February 12th, 2010

It was time to prepare for the big  third grade ‘Friendship Party.’ a nice euphemism for the elementary school version of the Valentine’s Day card/candy exchange. We only had a mere two days to go before the big event.  So, having a half an hour to spare between the after-school pick-up and an important call with my agent, I decided to take Connor to the local pharmacy to  look for the perfect classroom Valentine. 

We started in the candy section.  I pointed to some chocolate candy hearts. “How about these, Connor?” I asked.

“No. Those are not healthy,” said Connor. 

Okay, no problem. 

We continued along the candy aisle. “How about these candy-filled bags with hearts on the outside?”  I suggested hopefully, looking at my watch and noticing that time was running short. Connor shook his head.  And suggestion after suggestion, the answer was the same –no, no, no!  We were both beginning to get frustrated. I had to get home for my call. 

After another half an hour, we both had had it. Connor had begun to cry, and I was seething. I said, “Connor what DO you want in the perfect Valentine?”

He responded quite emphatically, ” I DON’T WANT TO SHOCK PEOPLE!” 

Thinking that he didn’t want to give a Valentine that might cause him to be teased, I took him home and asked him to think about it.

Later that evening, while I was rummaging through his backpack, I found a note advising parents not to include any Valentine’s gifts with peanuts because there was a student in his class with severe peanut allergies.  At last I understood what Connor was trying to tell me.  Connor didn’t want to buy candy that had peanuts or was made in a factory that made peanut products — those could cause his classmate to go into anaphylactic  ’shock.’

The next morning before school, we went to our local big-box discount store, and found Valentine’s Day cards and some lovely Valentine’s themed lollipops that were made in a peanut-free factory.  Good job, Connor.

(Who says that children with autism are not considerate of others??!!! )

Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

Quick Tips for Using Summertime to Prepare for the Next School Year

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

Somewhere between finishing up your child’s summer homework packet and buying school supplies, don’t forget to add one more thing to your summer to-do list preparing your child for the next school year.  Here’s how to leverage a few minutes of summer downtime to prevent back-to-school anxiety and get your child off to a fast start when the new school year arrives this fall. (more…)

Can Homework be Fun????!!!…

Monday, April 13th, 2009

Yes it can.  It takes a bit of disguise and derring-do, but homework can be great fun for the entire family.  How do I know? Pure panic and desperation.

All parents know that homework isn’t about learning academics, it’s about learning how to be a grown up.   It’s about following through and fulfilling a commitment.  And, oh what a tough lesson it is, especially when the commitment deadline falls on a beautiful day or a shoe sale.

If you’ve tried everything that the experts have told you to do regarding good homework practices – like making sure your child has enough rest, a set time for homework, a set place for homework, no known other learning disabilities, good lighting, a full tummy– and none of it seems to be working, then here are a few desperation-generated alternatives:

1. Powerful incentives. This one never fails…Absolutely no Wii until at least one page of homework is finished, and then and only then can the reluctant student play all 32 time trial races.

2. Creative competition. An irresistible challenge does wonders.  Try this on your homework-avoidant offspring: “Sweetie, can you finish your math facts before Mom finishes packing your lunch?”   (For this  to work, make sure your child always wins, even if it takes you an hour and a half to make a sandwich).

3. Spelling word Pictionary.  After his turn to draw on our whiteboard, my son always blurts out the answer before anyone has a chance to guess.  This can work in your favor…make up a rule so that whoever answers first has to spell the word!

4. Taking turns being the teacher.  It is quite comical to see how a child interprets his teacher’s mannerisms. Through Connor’s outstanding mimicry, we discovered what a kind and loving teacher he has this year, and what a wonderfully stern taskmaster she can be when children misbehave.  You go, Mrs. C!

5. Think yucky.  Anything that eats its young,  drops its tail and excretes poison through scaly and/or slimy skin is an irresistible come-on to a reading-averse youngster. Make sure you have lots of books about reptiles and amphibians to help meet those 1/2 an hour per day reading requirements.

6. Be relevant.  Keep in mind that an assignment that involves writing a paragraph or a story can be about ANYTHING.  A favorite movie, a video game or an unusual episode, such as the curious incident of how our dog ate her own yurp (see #5 above) all work just fine. Just get the darn thing written.

7. Go on Vacation.  Why homework is fun on vacation but not at home eludes me, but my son loves to do homework on an airplane.  Hurray for fare wars!

….And if all else fails, put the responsibility back on his or her shoulders.  One afternoon, I threw up my hands, and said, “Son, I’ve tried everything I know to get you to do your homework.  If you don’t want to do it, I can’t make you. The consequences are in your hands now — it is up to you and only you if you want to move up to third grade, or to behave like a big boy or to help the teachers who have been trying to help you.”  Then, I cried (but I didn’t want to lay a guilt trip on him, so I did my sniffling in another room).  After about five minutes, he came to the kitchen table, sat down and began to complete his homework. I can’t say that this works every time – it doesn’t – but it gave me a glimpse of the man my son will grow up to be.

Valentines, signatures and advice for the pincer-grip challenged

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

When it came time to write Valentines in kindergarten, Connor couldn’t write his classmates’ names small enough to fit on those teensie-tiny little cards. For those who are similarly pincer grip and fine-motor challenged, my husband came up with the perfect solution. First, he had Connor write every one of his classmates’ first and last names and his own signature on a single piece of paper. Then, I took the paper of his classmates’ names, scanned it and then resized the image so that it was roughly 1/3 of its original size. I scanned his signature, resized the image and then replicated it 23 times for each Valentine.

Connor then cut out each name and one copy of his signature. Then, he glued it to the Valentines. Unfortunately, Carter was not happy with the result. The glue was messy and the glue stick was ineffective on the slick-faced card stock. Carter came up with the idea to tape the names, which he did with a little help from us.

Mission accomplished. It might sound a bit laborious, but we as a team were able to deliver handwritten, hand-signed Valentines that met his teacher’s (and much more difficult, my son’s) expectations.  The pincer grip came about six months later!

A bad day doesn’t stop us from going to school

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

One morning no matter how hard I tried, my son would not put a shoe or a sock on his right foot. After an hour of wailing, meltdowns, time outs, bribes and begging, I gave up. I decided to walk to school per our usual routine, albeit with my five-year old partially barefoot. Undaunted, I led the procession with broom in hand to sweep away bits of broken glass, splinters or bird droppings that could be dangerous to his naked toes. Keep in mind that my son wanted to go to school so badly that he was willing to walk in with one shoe. Although I felt ridiculous, and I’m sure he did, too, I was quite proud of both of us.

As we entered the school, the principal and the social worker saw us, so I explained that no, I wasn’t trying to punish or humiliate my son by making him walk to school with only one shoe on; it was simply the only way I could get him to go to school. When we reached his classroom, his teacher told me I’d have to go back to the school office and sign him in because she had already listed him as absent. Back we went.

When I got to the office, the school administrator told me I’d have to fill out a special form to explain my son’s tardiness. By this time, I had had it, “Look, I’ve just had a one and half hour meltdown with my child. He is only wearing one shoe today and he can’t me tell why; I don’t know if his shoes are too little, or if he has an ingrown toenail, or if he is just being difficult. He’s only ten minutes tardy, he wanted to go straight to class, and the principal said for me to go ahead and escort him to the classroom, and then the teacher sent us back here.” Thankfully, she said she’d take care of it. She must have been an imperfect mom, too.

I immediately went to the store to buy five pairs of shoes. Surely something would fit him and appeal to his fashion sense. I prayed that they would not be perceived as ‘too fancy.’ I also talked the school social worker into putting in a word on our behalf with the kindergarten teacher, who was supremely miffed that I’d enter her classroom unannounced and ten minutes late with a one-shoed child. Finally, I called the school nurse to check out my son to see if one of his toes might be infected or broken. Of course, I was also twenty minutes late with my call to one of the partners of my consulting firm.

Sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes for yourself and for your child, including suspending the rule of consistency and discipline. I think both mom and child need to be cut some slack occasionally.

I’m sure you have at least a million stories like mine, so knowing that there are other moms capable of incredibly difficult, stupid or downright confusing moments. Keep smiling, and do remember to give your child (and his rapidly growing little feet) the benefit of the doubt.

IEP Serenity Wish

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

May the great IEP wizard grant me:

The strength to help my son change what can be changed through a combination of effective and thoughtful programs, teachers, therapists and compensatory strategies.

The courage to ignore those behavioral issues that drive me crazy, but will likely disappear on their own and/or didn’t matter in the first place.

The wisdom to know the difference so that I don’t drive my son crazy, thereby increasing my chances that he  might actually come to visit me in the nursing home (preferably accompanied by at least one grandchild) during my sunset years.

In Appreciation of Teachers, but Caught in the Middle

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

In our area, we are served by two school districts – a special education  district and a local school district.  Most of the time, the two sides get along well.  But it is a tenuous liaison, and  it is almost always personality-driven. 

Life is difficult for a special education teacher if she and/or her direct reports don’t have the people skills  to carry a relationship within the school community. It is even more difficult if she hasn’t earned the respect of  school administrators.  A school’s principal and guidance counselor are the top guns in the building, and their advocacy of educational inclusion is critical.

And yet, it’s hard to find time to build those relationships. Special school district personnel are  busy with pounds of paperwork related to IEPs and legalities, scheduling, managing staff and measuring progress. They are often so busy that they don’t have the time they’d like to keep up-to-speed on the latest developments for teaching children how to overcome their disabilities. 

General education teachers don’t have it easy, either.  They are often frustrated by disruptive behaviors from children with special needs. Intrusions from special education staff parading in and out of the classroom for observations and pull outs can also be distracting.  And then there is the occasional rudeness of special education staff — one of Connor’s paras, for example, actually talked OVER the general education teacher during an important lecture .

Yet, general education teachers are catching up, and quickly.  The No Child Left Behind Initiative has forced local school districts to treat each child as an individual, and it is working.  To meet NCLB goals, local school districts have had to develop creative and unique programs to teach reading and math skills.

Educational inclusion is tough for everyone, but we’re all learning. After all, it has only been in the last ten years or so that paraprofessionals have become accepted practice.  It has only been within the last twenty to thirty years that our children haven’t been segregated into institutions or special schools. 

So we have to work as a team. Checks and balances between special and general education personnel are essential to its success.  And yet, the sheer number of services available  between the two is difficult for team members  to learn about, and even more so to mix-and-match to an individual child’s needs.

Stuff that works - for us

We  don’t assume these products will work for everyone–that’s why we ended the title with the parenthetical (for us). But if you are looking for new things to try, please read the accompanying blogs to view our experiences with these products. 

 

 

101 Games and Activities for Children with Autism, Asperger’s and Sensory Processing Disorders, by Tara Delaney, M.S. OTR

Written by a pediatric occupational therapist, this book is full of affordable and fun ways to engage your child in educational play.  Click here for our story on how we turned an ordinary family stroll into an exciting adventure!

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Model Me Kids

Model Me Kids® has broken the code on tools to teach social skills to children on the autism spectrum.

Click here for our success story and a full product review.

 

 b-Calm Audio Interventions

The b-Calm System provides audio technology to help calm and increase concentration in children on the autism spectrum.   To learn how we used b-calm, please visit our blog My Son Threw a Shoe in Class Today.

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Do You Have a Product?

Do you have a product you’d like us to review for Stuff That Works™? Contact us today.

 

L. Mae Wilkinson:

National Examiner for Autism and Education

National Public Policy Examiner

St. Louis Examiner for Autism and Parenting

Reporter,  Autism Hangout