Do you remember getting presents or special privileges for making good grades in school? If so, do you remember how proud you were when your hard work paid off? Me, too, which is why I was so excited when Connor’s teachers suggested we implement a behavioral incentive plan at school. And, since I am no stranger to incentive plans (considering I’ve spent most of my career working on points-based rewards programs for airlines, hotel chains. telecommunications firms and credit card companies), I was delighted that I could contribute to the discussion.
But school behavioral plans are quite different than any other incentive program I’ve Continue reading…
Behavioral Plans for Children with Autism
March 11th, 2011How one school district is drafting a policy against unlawful restraint and seclusion
February 20th, 2011We’ve heard the horror stories – Practices of using restraints and seclusion (R&S) in schools have humiliated, physically harmed, or even caused the deaths of children. Yet many schools use R&S routinely as a method to get troublesome kids, even those as young as five years old, out of the classroom. Children on the autism spectrum are particularly vulnerable to this type of treatment. Because they do not display physical signs of their disabilities, they are often perceived as being non-compliant, lazy or just plain ‘difficult.’
For Missouri, the path to fixing the problem started with one courageous mom’s outrage against the treatment of her young son. Her story caught the attention of the media, Continue reading…
Autism policy – How should we advise our state legislators?
January 23rd, 2011We are excited to participate in a pilot program sponsored by our local Arc chapter where we will be hosting a small group of parents, self-advocates and local legislators. The purpose of the meeting is to share our experiences and feedback about what’s working or not working with current policies and practices related to autism and other disabilities. I’m certain the stories will be compelling, heart-wrenching and inspiring, as in the case of one friend who was placed in a state-run hab center for years but is now *finally* living happily on his own.
But I know that at some point, one of the legislators will turn to me and Continue reading…
Well-intentioned vs. effective (the spectrum of autism parenting)
December 22nd, 2010We all go through those times where we either a) defer decision-making to the experts or b) come to an IEP meeting with both barrels loaded, ready to fight to the death for our kids. What we often forget is that raising a child – any child- requires the help of the community, the parents and the child himself. What we cannot forget is that the parents are the glue that holds all the pieces together. As parents, we try to do our best, but there is a difference between being well-intentioned and being effective advocates. An effective parent advocate is one who Continue reading…
Autism and restoring a mom’s trust in public schools
November 4th, 2010I’m afraid to believe that my son’s 4th grade in his new school is going so well. Connor is in a gen ed class 93% of the time; he is making As and Bs (albeit with modified programs for reading and writing); he even participated in an after-school creative writing class with 12 other students without his para. His teachers are great, and they understand that despite his language delays, he is a very bright little boy who can handle high expectations if given the chance. The kids at the school are also wonderful, and Connor has made three new friends. The administrators and the special ed team Continue reading…
Autism Ups and Downs: When Parents Lose Their Way
September 20th, 2010Losing our way as parents happens. Typically, it begins with the nagging doubt that we aren’t doing something quite right, but we cannot for the life of us figure out what it is. Sometimes the realization is a false alarm generated by other stressors in our lives. Other times, the doubt is based in reality, but the underlying issue is easily identified and corrected by advice from other parents, professionals or the ever-helpful Google search engine.
But other times, we parents do come to a point where we don’t know what to do, and all of the advice, research and theory just won’t cut it. We need hands-on Continue reading…
Autism and the Hobgoblin of Comparisons
July 7th, 2010‘Comparison, a great teacher told me, is the cardinal sin of modern life. It traps us in a game we can’t win. Once we define ourselves in terms of others we lose the freedom to shape our own lives.’ Jim Collins, Author ‘Built to Last’
Comparisons are my weakness. I compare everything and everyone. I compare my son to his typically developing peers, his high-achieving cousins and other children on the autism spectrum. What am I looking for? Any clue to demonstrate that “Our son is making progress” or “Connor is rapidly closing the achievement gap.” Of course Connor is making progress! Every day and in every way he Continue reading…
