I was standing in the jewelry store during the last day of the school year, when the salesperson asked me politely, “May I help you?” I answered, “I am looking for a special gift for a special teacher, and it can’t be too fancy or she won’t accept it.” And then I burst into tears.
How could I possibly thank the woman who had been my son’s aide and academic lifeline for the past four years? How could a necklace or a locket or a cameo pin ever express our gratitude for her sweet and loving attention? Mrs. Barnes always seemed to know when Continue reading…
Goodbye, Mrs. Barnes. We’ll never forget all the good that you’ve done for our son.
June 1st, 2010What’s Wrong with This Picture?
April 21st, 2010There are many perceptions about autism that need to be re-calibrated, and there has been good progress in terms of autism awareness and understanding. But in terms of equal rights for children on the spectrum, it’s just a mess. For example, why are children in elementary school arrested for lashing out at teachers and paras who try to restrain them? Wouldn’t most parents tell their children to fight and run away from their attackers?? But in Missouri, Arkansas and other US states, children as young as 6 or even 11 years old who resist restraint are arrested, often for felonious assault, without a second thought.
What’s Continue reading…
Autism and the Many Kindnesses of Others
March 22nd, 2010We have become alarmingly accustomed to hearing the awful news about the mean and rotten things – bullying, discrimination and other abuses – that happen to autistic children. Yet, we don’t often talk about the many kindnesses – some big and some small – that go unrecognized and occur every single day in our children’s lives. Here are a few of my favorites:
- The school nurse. When Connor spilled something on his pants, he was taken to the nurse’s office for a temporary pair. Of course, the only thing that suited him were a pair of girls’ leggings. The nurse called me Continue reading…
Autism and the Search for the Perfect Valentine
February 12th, 2010It was time to prepare for the big third grade ‘Friendship Party.’ a nice euphemism for the elementary school version of the Valentine’s Day card/candy exchange. We only had a mere two days to go before the big event. So, having a half an hour to spare between the after-school pick-up and an important call with my agent, I decided to take Connor to the local pharmacy to look for the perfect classroom Valentine.
We started in the candy section. I pointed to some chocolate candy hearts. “How about these, Connor?” I asked.
“No. Those are not healthy,” said Connor.
Okay, no problem.
We continued along Continue reading…
Autism and Sleeping through the Night
January 26th, 2010My son slept through the night last night…in his own bed. He also slept in his own bed the night before and the night before that and a whole six nights before that. That’s now TEN nights in a row that Connor has slept in his own bed. At eight and a half years old, he is finally sleeping on his own. How did we pull it off? I have no idea.
It isn’t as though we haven’t been trying for the past eight years or so. On the contrary, we’ve attempted just about every sleeping technique with Connor (but please let let me know if I missed anything): letting Continue reading…
New Year’s Resolutions for an ‘Autism Mom’
December 31st, 2009Autism and life are inextricable, but certainly not incompatible nor joyless. Sometimes, though, thriving with autism might take a bit more planning and commitment. Thus, with high hopes and good intentions, I join with many others in making my 2010 New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine, which have been tailored to an autism-friendly mode:
1. To stop dithering about my son’s educational placement, and get him where he needs and wants to be. It all started with Connor’s statement, ”There are too many students and staff at my school. I can’t concentrate.” All the sleepless nights, hand-wringing and relationship-cultivating efforts with the special education staff won’t change the fact Continue reading…
In Memory of Holidays Past…a Message to New “Autism Moms”
December 14th, 2009Holidays have always been a time of great joy and great stress. The joy of having a child experience the wonders of the season; the stress of meeting developmental milestones while battling strep, ear infections, the flu, recurrent meltdowns and night terrors. Happily, most of Connor’s childhood illnesses have subsided, and so has the race for achieving developmental milestones. In that spirit, I’d like to provide a holiday message to new ‘autism moms’ (especially those mothers with children under the age of five):
1. Christmas ornaments are educational tools. At six months of age, my son still wasn’t turning over, so I Continue reading…
