Autism and life are inextricable,  but certainly not incompatible nor joyless.  Sometimes, though, thriving with autism might take a bit more planning and commitment. Thus, with high hopes and good intentions, I join with many others in making my 2010 New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine, which have been tailored to an autism-friendly mode:

1. To stop dithering about my son’s educational placement, and get him where he needs and wants to be.  It all started with Connor’s statement, ”There are too many students and staff at my school.  I can’t concentrate.” All the sleepless nights, hand-wringing and relationship-cultivating efforts with the special education staff won’t change the fact that his current services and placement are not working as well as they could be. Dithering about the advantages and disadvantages of home school, private school or switching to a new public school is not helpful.  It’s time to get out those scorecards, interview guides, site tours and other due diligence methods that I used for years in the business world to discover what alternatives are out there, and how they may fit with Connor’s needs.  Surely there is some solution that incorporates inclusion, academic achievement, services  and a strength-based/individualized curriculum in an environment that my son will enjoy. (By the way, he’ll be in on the decision-making, too, along with our banker!)  Estimated completion date: June 1.

2. To talk less. This is a difficult thing to do.  I love words.  I love how words combine into phrases and phrases into sentences and sentences into paragraphs.  I even like to say the same thing twice, but in different ways.  Unfortunately, Connor doesn’t understand long monologues, and has even said “Mom, you talk too much.”  I’m sure my spouse would agree.  Estimated completion date: about 25 years from now.

3. To develop a passion for fresh fruit and lap swimming.  I thought these were more specific than “to adopt a healthier lifestyle.” The cholesterol-monster is already at work in my body, so diet and exercise are important for me, and fruit 3x per day and swimming 3x per week should be relatively easy to pull off. Besides, both can help my skin maintain a youthful glow, which at my age is much needed. Estimated completion date: ongoing, with constant vigilance and persistence.

4. To be willing to share what I’ve learned  and to keep learning. Mentoring and advocacy are critically important.  Moms and dads with autistic kids have a tank full of collective knowledge, and that knowledge is not siloed, even though the autism community that serves us is highly specialized.  In other words, we know how speech, OT, PT, APE, ABA, vision, music, art and other therapies fit into IEP goals. We know how concomitant medical issues may require the services of  a bunch of experts–an allergist, an  immunologist, a nutritionist, a gastroenterologist, an ear-nose-and-throat specialist, a sleep therapist, a pediatrician, a pharmacist, a psychologist, a neurologist, an attorney or even a social worker.  We’re pretty smart people, and I, for one, am glad to be part of such a group. Estimated completion date: always to be accessible for sharing; never to be finished with learning.

Happy New Year to you all!